Something to think about…
Do you ever ask yourself these questions?

  • Am I responsible for my siblings?
  • Is it my responsibility to model for them?
  • As an elder sibling am I supposed to set the example?

Well, as you have probably guessed, I am an older sibling to my younger sister. We were always together. A lot of the time though, she would act like she was the older sibling when in fact, I am the eldest!

However, I am finding myself learning more and more as I get older, that I am the one who is supposed to lead by example. Yes, I have to set the standard as an older sister to be a role model for her. I can’t help but think of this just as I would a leadership role. And it’s not that my sister asked me to take on this role. It’s just how it is.

If you’re an elder sibling, then you know what I’m talking about! My sister follows me. I see it all the time. She may not act like it, or want to admit it, but actions don’t lie. It may be something unspoken, or even something she doesn’t even realize she does, but she does! It’s my job as her older sibling to encourage her and to make sure she is doing what is right. No, I cannot always force her to do what is right, but I can definitely let her know when she isn’t and help guide her on her way through life’s inevitable challenges. We may disagree, but that’s life. Siblings will argue. Of course, they will!

A lot of the time siblings argue over small things, and my sister and I are no different. We are just two years apart and have always done a lot together. We have very different personalities, but our values and morals really are pretty similar. We were raised to have each other’s back and to not fight and go against one another. She’s always had my back too and has helped me in so many situations when I needed her.

For example, during this pandemic, she helped me out when I wasn’t comfortable going to the stores or when I needed to mail off something. I so appreciated it! She was always there for me and took care of some of my personal business for me too. My sister understood that I didn’t feel safe, and felt uncomfortable going out in public settings. She respected that and helped me out. She’s really strong, and there are a lot of qualities about her that I look up to. We take care of each other in different ways, but being the eldest, I still feel I am responsible for her.

Unlike the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible, I feel it is my responsibility to make sure she’s okay, and I will always do that. No matter what. I will always try to do it with love and kindness. However, sometimes I might come off a bit tough, but it’s only because I love my sister dearly! This happened last year. I wanted my sister to start a business. I just knew she would be great at it and wanted to help her level up, but she said she wasn’t ready. I got so frustrated because I had this vision for her, I knew she could do it, but she wouldn’t budge. I had to learn that even though I’m her elder sister, I cannot make her decisions for her. At the end of the day, only she knows when she is ready.  I can only encourage her to achieve goals and be the best she can be, and stand ready to help when the time is right. When I began to understand this, I realized more clearly what my role was. To be there.

As elder siblings, sometimes we feel like we can boss our younger counterparts because we are the oldest, but as I said she’s the youngest and acts like my mama sometimes! We have to remember to encourage our siblings through love and have faith that they will make the best decision for themselves at the right time. I know it gets hard when you know their potential and you only want the best for them. However, they have to want it too. I encouraged my sister to get her bachelor’s degree and now she’s pursuing it. She did it because she wanted it. I’m so proud of her when she tells me how she’s doing in school. Isn’t it the best feeling ever when you encourage someone and they go for it? It makes me feel like I’m a part of her school journey and she knows she can confide in me anytime. We’re sisters and friends.

A sister is a special friend. She’s someone you can confide in, trust, and be there for. My sister is very important to me, so much so that I want her happiness to supersede mine. I truly want what’s best for her. When you grow up with someone who you fight over the remote control with, play bicycles, play checkers, cry, fight, argue and makeup with, that is someone that is a huge part of you, and always will be.

My sister has fought for me, protected me, took the blame for me, and proven to me that she truly is my sister even with all of those flaws and misunderstandings. All of them are forgiven, just as she forgives mine. I love my sister and I will always support her in her goals and endeavours. I know her journey and path is different from mine and it’s okay. I just want to be there for her as much as I can. More than anything is the friendship we share. I am her sister and I will always be her keeper. I will always be my sister’s keeper.

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